I was on my way to dance with the girls like any other Thursday, enjoying a telephone conversation about a craving for homemade applesauce, when I realized I should hang up and get some dinner for the girls and myself. Lil B was asleep in the backseat, so I had to wake her up and had about an hour before class to get us some chow. Well, I have always bragged about her waking up great and being pretty well mannered, easy going overall- NOT this time. She gets us out of the car and we walk into the Kirbys in which we eat pretty much every Thursday for years. We are regulars and know everyone who works there just about and they know lil B. She decides to lay flat out on in the booth and continue her nap, which leaves me to probably eat alone. So I ask her if she wants food and she all of a sudden turns into this child whom I swear I did not know. She starts speaking really loudly, crying and not answering any questions I have about food choices, but continuing everytime I have a question for her to proceed with a loud piercing screetch. So, just as I mention to the waitress that I have decided to not eat and just save the poor other souls their peace of mind, she decides we should stay for food. OK-but doesn't tell me what kind, so I order her mac n cheese. Easy choice, and same food, never fails that she gets anywhere we go out to eat. Now she rolls back onto the booth seat and whacks her head on the table and begins screaming again, this time pincing me and staying under the table. Who is this child and where is mine? Our food comes and I ask for it to go, of course as I cannot stay here any longer. So as she is still crying and stomping a fit -the strangest thing happens to me. I am trying to fumble for money and calm her down and this girl outta nowhere about oh 23 asks if she can sit down and talk to me and then proceeds to sit down. OK -do I know her? Should I know her? Is she a long lost mistress I need to know about? Well, I guess I am going to find out as she sits down in my disarrayed booth and makes herself comfy. Ironically Lil B stops crying to hear what she has to say. This was the most silence of the stay. So, what does she have to say? :
"Have you ever thought about bringing your child to a psychologist for this condition? Did you know she could be very bright, gifted really as she is very beautiful and in tune with our conversation right now. Do you think maybe she is at an adult level and that is why you two are having a power struggle here and why she keeps continuing to change her mind every second? Could it be her mind is running much faster than her age level should be and causing her frustration? Ya know, I know this guy who graduated at SU who handles these types of kids everyday...I was once like her and had it not been for him, I would still be troubled...."(pause)....
Did she happen to pause because of the shock look upon my face? Was it I didn't know whether to stuff my fist down her throat, try to defend my child or tell her she was fucked up? She obviously never experienced any child before other than herself caught in a child's body... as my child at that moment was clearly just very tired and had been forced to be awake instead of sleeping and thus causing her a fit. My child gifted? Maybe in DRAMA.... So now I just look at the girl here and there while she is speaking trying to pay the waitress and get the flock out of there as fast as I can and she clearly doesn't get the hint that she has intruded my personal space, I am not speaking back, I am very pissed off and clearly bothered by her.
so she continues:
"His name is Joe .... something or other, actually he is on E Genessee St. Do you know where that is? Actually I have his number, let me go get it for you..... "
I finally get myself together and say, I really think you should keep the number, thank you ....
"well, had it not been...." (I walk away from her carrying Lil B out in my arms and my food)
What the heck? I have given advice before and been way off. I have been ballsy before and I have said inappropriate things, sure. This girl was just a fuckin looney bin.
Anyhow that was my Kirby's incident. Will we go back? Not sure, too embarrassed...however Lil B did go right into dance like a peach, never experiencing another fit for the night. Of course, it was for dance.....
