Yesterday on my way home, I came around the bend on the highway and my tires gave out on me on the wet road causing my car to go into a tail spin. I tried to regain control only to set the car into more of a tipsy. I feel as though I was on only two wheels and was going to tip over and/or die. Somehow, my car gained bearings and with mild skidding, I survived luckily with no damage to the car and/or myself. I guess my mom didn't want to see me just yet:) I am glad God gives her visiting rights. I do feel she was watching. It took me quite awhile to tell those I care about what had happened, as it scared the shit outta me that bad. I think I probably need new tires and should not go that fast in the rain, eh? Well, I lived through it to see the light of day and embrace life and all it has to offer....
I am in this challenging myself mode in my life right now. I think challenging yourself as a person and continuing to grow on the inside is part of a healthy life. I think it is much harder than outside challenges, like buying a house or getting a better career, but it is well worth it for myself. I feel almost balanced. I used to call it sometimes confrontational to challenge others opinions but I am finding it is actually pretty healthy. It is what makes people different and unique. I am happy to say for the first time in a long time I feel pretty good.
The most challenging things for me are actually having to accept people as they are. What I have learned most about that is that when you have to stop challenging and look at someone exactly for who they are and for what they say or represent, it takes alot of the guessing out of it. I also found out that when someone says to accept themselves for who they are, it means there isn't alot of openness to other's opinions or ideas. I have opened my eyes to alot lately. What I have realized is that I have had alot of support right in front of me but maybe didn't see it as well before. I know that I am not perfect, and I don't react immediately all the time right the first time, but one thing I know is that I care enough to always try and make it right if it is worth it. Nothing in life is worth having if you don't have to work for it. I know now, the person has to want to work with you or feel you are worth it too....In talking to someone today, we talked about all the steps it takes to grow as a person. One, you have to identify you are flawed, two you have to want to make changes, three you have to be able to be challenged, and challenge yourself always, four -know it is hard work and five, actually do the work.
Atleast while I am blogging today I can say I have made some great strides! Yay for me. My challenges on the outside are sticking with working out, and working on developing my Team at work. My inside challenges are taking care of myself and surrounding myself with healthy relationships.
This weekend I am heading off to NJ. Christie, Jamie and I are going to see some NHRA racing. It is the biggest rush of adrenaline you can get! 350 + mph in 5-6 secs... totally rocks! I need to relax and unwind, although with this kind of racing-too hard to. How can it be possible that I am actually excited and love this type of racing?
