For those of you who do not like reading about bathroom issues, sorry but it is on my mind and I have to speak about it.
I am a every five day going girl when it comes to doing the business. It surprises me that most girls consider themselves regular and that, meaning every day or every other.
Apparently rush hour for this regular "business" in the public bathrooms where I work are at 8:00, 10:00 and 2:00. Which means I can't go in there to pee or or anything until 11:00 or 3:00 after the scent has cleared.
Now I know, men seems to like to go in the bathroom, sit, relax and read the paper, play some handheld game or do word puzzles while on the crapper for atleast twenty minutes fermenting in the scent as if it is some prideful thing that we all must be subjected to. Most men do this more than once a day too-UGH. I thought most women were different, atleast publically.
I don't know about you, but I do not feel comfy reading up on Cosmo and taking a shit in a bathroom where people can identify that it is me by looking at my shoes. (and we all know you could tell it was me by my trendy shoes) I will have a stomach ache all day before I will use the public bathroom if possible. Seriously, why subject everyone else to my 2 jumbo coffees and my week of food intake? Now, maybe all the other early risers, 10 o'clockers or afternoon droppers feel the same way, that they are doing it due to having to, not a want, but I am telling you that by the shoes, they are regulars.
So, I was thinking and I don't know if it will go over too well, but so that I can go in and pee and apply my lipstick without holding my breath, (I mean the bathroom is only so big and has closed doors) I thought about maybe posting a sign...It would read:''Public Bathroom Etiquette when Shitting 101'':
1. When shitting, please courtesy flush, if not during the act, immediately following may work
2. Please for all 8 o'clockers, take the extra ten minutes home and shit on your own toilet
3. If you don't want me to identify you, please lift your feet or go to another floor because you don't smell too rosy and I know it is you
4. Please do not leave your magazines in the bathroom to encourage others to follow your lead
5. Spray something for God Sake -if you can smell it -WE ALL CAN SMELL IT
6. Don't forget to wash your hands, and I mean lather them with soap and rinse so that the door handle is not infested with germs
7. Can you keep your groaning to low whisper-don't you know I cannot pee if I hear someone else talking or groaning for that matter?
8. If you fart in the stall, that is a dead give away you are in the process of shitting
9. Always check the toilet after you flush, sometimes it takes two flushes....
Ahhhh, just writing that makes me feel so much better.
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Laurie said:
I will not shit in public. I'd have to be ready to die.
Of course I also hate it when my husband has diarrhea and won't flush it. I could smell it from downstairs. Nasty fucker- 2:46 PM
